I Built These Murderers

troubleshoting, part 1

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 06:08:32 GMT

I'm beginning to think that there is a correlation between a girl's happiness and the number of times the final letter is repeated in a word. Example:

I'm sooo happyyyyyyy todayyy!

A variation on this concept is the addition of another, previously unused/unseen letter to the word. Observe:

Do you knoe that he saidd he loveees meeeeee!?

This is perhaps due to the flow of endorphines from various parts of the body to their receptors replacing the normal fluids tantamount in the operation of basic motor skills.

Of course, once the female is totally devoid of any emotion but elation, the situation becomes critical; the once decent ability to type at a fairly rapid pace is reduced to one of or both eyelids going lazy and drool replacing the faculties of speech.

I debunked it! I am so happpeeeeeeee!

Watersports?

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 05:50:47 GMT

I thought that would be a rather catchy title. They can't all be masterpieces relating a change in lifestyle to stuffing one's face, you know.

So, Ohio. Is this all there is, or do I need to go out more? Fuck that, there's TV and music.

I've been writing alot the past two days. Well, OK; maybe just two songs in two days, but they were written and recorded all in that time.

I'm quite dissatisfied with the fact that I don't really feel like writing anything right now. Maybe Fiction Writing burned me out.

Repressed envy has a message for the thoughtful youth: be a dream, or be a fear. Why should I modify my work when I really mean what I am saying at the time? Or do I?

Am I waning, or waxing in a new fashion? Oh, to speak with moons! To come and go whilst staying still breeds empathy in me.

Apple Jacks, Raisin Bran and why Puerto RIco Shouldn't Have Been in the WBC

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:03:44 GMT

I'm literally eating us out of house and home. There will be no more ACME trips, so the rest of the week is about consumption. That said, as we run out of food so I have to start getting creative. Last night at 11 PM, I had the last of the bread in a peanut butter sandwich (which, mind you, caused for a hell of a dry mouth morning) so a craving for peanut butter resulted in a bloated, thirsty me holding a peanut buttery spoon on the sofa. Prior to that, I mixed the last of the Raisin Bran with the beginning of the Apple Jacks (so that I could have a full bowl). The Jacks were deliciously fresh, the Bran peculiarly stale (especially the raisins). Hell, I was just happy not to find millipedes. The move is just around the corner and I have a hell of a lot of food left. It's gonna be weird being full and empty at the same time.

Puerto Rico was annexed to the United States officially with the formation of their constitution in 1952, which declared it a Commonwealth of the United States of America. Now, I know there are those of you saying "but wait! A commonwealth and a state are two different things!"

Well, to those people who say said above thing, I offer you this... can you think of any other Commonwealths that the United States have under their governance?

Can't think of any? Well how about Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Virginia and Kentucky? All Commonwealths under their respective constitutions and as labeled on state seals, documents, etc. This being said, I call for the World Baseball Classic to be started over, Japan give the trophy back and we start over with Puerto Rico's team deferred to the U.S.A. team. Let's be fair, world. Let's be fair.

Maybe then PR will see the benefits of being a full fledged state. Si, baby.

Don't expect me to die for you

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 17:52:02 GMT

11 x 2 = better than saccharine because it's real

Decisions, Popular Music, Arabian Princesses

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 05:53:31 GMT

I'm obsessed with What Goes On, the Beatles anomalies page. Who would think that a series of barely audible clicks and ramblings underneath Beatles recordings would be so fascinating...but I must confess I am a victim of their gravitation.

So, I thought about getting rid of this thing (the journal). Then I thought some more. It's a place to write, read what others think and probably the most unique window I have into certain people. So, I've decided to keep it. I'm a little mad now that I didn't update a little bit more, but I'm happier for having decided to keep it.

How's about a proem for old tim(e)'s sake:

Arabian princesses dance along the miles of sand
laid out into a drag strip that leads to deprecation and faulty fanbases.
You should always be ready to serve the ones who are dependent on you
otherwise they are doomed
Arabian princess, say "no" just once
and teach that foolish heart his place
so that he must return his Bactrian chariot for good.

P.S. - I'm not gay for liking this song.

P.P.S. - A tie in baseball? What is that?! Seriously...by the way, they won't stop playing Howard's homer on ESPN. 'twas truly a bomb for the ages.

Moon and Rascal

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:54:43 GMT

The moon had been shy all night long, and the vast Ohio farmland dipped in and out of blackness. Two hills stood symmetrically next to each other, the left occupied by a modest sized barn and house, the other bald save for a few sprouts of sage on the summit. A small paved road split the two knolls and went on forever in either direction. A Cadillac Fleetwood slithered eastward on the black vein, some twenty miles away from the West Virginia border.
Within the car, two men observed the dots of mist collaborating to form a stained-glass windshield.
“Are you gonna wipe that shit?” The passenger asked, gazing at the glass.
“What does it matter?” the driver snapped back, “I can see fine. I think sometimes your mind needs the wipers.”

Moon and Rascal had been on the road for the past two hours, and were becoming restless with hunger and boredom. Though they had agreed on driving in shifts, Moon had yet to sit behind the wheel the whole week. Flipping his greasy pocket comb in his fingers, Moon figured now was as good as any time to stop for a bite, a piss and shift change.
“There’s a gas station up ahead, I gotta take a leak.”
Rascal ignored the man next to him and peered through bloodshot eyes at the rear view mirror, then motioned backward with his head.
“We ain’t got time to stop, Moon. If we wanna make that job in Philly we have to really burn. Besides, the less stoppin’ we do between here and there the better.”
So, in complete silence, the dull neon Shell sign came and went.

***

Back in Columbus, Eddie Gizzardo was startled to consciousness by the muffled sound of cars outside his closed window. That god-damned highway. He never opposed the building of an interstate right outside his apartment, but that’s because he never knew it was happening—Eddie decided a long time ago that the city should do whatever it wants to itself, a decision he now disagreed with. He slid out of bed, walked across the room, and opened it with a grunt. The December air whipped across his face and brought with it a smell like those little dried pools of milk that he was constantly wiping up, compliments of his two room mates. Surprised by the odor, Eddie looked to the right—across the Scioto River—for a source: maybe a factory or a downwind late-night garbage dump.
“Fuck, why the hell did I wake up if nothing interesting’s gonna happen?”
With the completion of this thought, Eddie grabbed the window to pull it down but was stopped by a gurgling sound directly. He propped his belly on the windowsill and poked out the window to find a saturated kitten on the fire escape. He reacted with his customary “shit” (Eddie was known to utter such graceful expressions at inopportune moments; his first marriage, where most commence with an “I do,” began with an inspired “fuck yeah”). Eddie slid back into the room, hitting his head on the window. Bumbling back over to his bed, he picked up a pair of crumpled jeans from the floor. He thrust himself back out the window and picked up the small creature, wondering why the cat was so wet. He set the denim wrap on his bed and strode over to the light switch. Upon flicking it, he saw a thick crimson smear on the panel. The putrid smell had been blood.

***

Moon saw a sign that read “PHILADELPHIA 28” and looked over at Rascal, who was still stone-faced.
“Almost there, huh Rasc?” he said, eager for some sort of response.
“Yeah,” Rascal mumbled back, “almost.”
A disheartened Moon went back to the side window to play the game that had kept him busy for the past four hours. He would try to keep his eyes straight, but they would always catch an object and follow it.
House.
Tree, tree.
Tree, sign, mile-marker, sprinklers.
Tree.
It took Moon quite some time to realize that the only way he was able to keep his eyes straight was to either look at a speck on the window, (which was cheating, since it was still technically following something), or to just completely numb his mind. He found the first way to be easiest, but thought that Rascal would probably be good at playing the game the right way.
Tree, tree, tree.
Mile-marker.
Moon sat back and thought about their trip. It was like watching a giant clock with the close trees whizzing by as the second hands, the distant objects plodding away minutes and hours. He didn’t always think about things like this, but it was easy when the radio was busted and a scarecrow sat in the driver’s seat. Moon wondered how someone could get anything with as few words as Rascal said. Another sign, “PHILADELPHIA 15.” Home free. Moon’s train of thought kept rolling along, and he flitted from idea to idea in silence.

***

Once Eddie was able to clean off the cat in the kitchen, he noticed two deep wounds in its throat, like the talons of a huge bird had swept across it. He grabbed a paper plate from the cabinet and set it on the counter, along with the kitten. He opened the fridge and grabbed the milk carton, only to find it contained about a drop’s worth of milk. Pushing past a bottle of coke and something wrapped in tinfoil, he found an unopened can of tuna. Eddie took out his blade and poked a hole in the top. He assumed the cat was too weak to actually eat, so he figured the juice would have to do. He rummaged under the sink until he found a couple of square inches of clear wrap and covered the plate, so as not to soak through.
“Sorry brother, but this is the best I can do.”
He poured the fish juice on the plate and nudged it over to the animal, which after a few seconds of staring, began to lap it up.
With the creature taken care of, Eddie now set about trying to find out why there was a mangled cat on their fire escape. He stomped into the hallway, grabbed the knob of the door next to his room, and flung it open.
“Guys? Why was there a cat outside?”
No answer came from the darkness, which Eddie’s eyes hadn’t readjusted to yet. He wrapped his arm around the door frame and slapped at the wall for a switch.
“Wake up, man! Do you know—“
The light revealed two strange things: First, the room was clean. Second, neither room mate was in his bed. Moon and Rascal were gone, and probably not coming back.

When a man like Rascal says a word, it’s a rarity. If someone can manage to get an entire sentence out of him, it’s an achievement. Because of this fact, when one hears words like “oh shit,” they carry much more meaning behind them. This is exactly the pairing of words that startled Moon out of his daze, as he snapped his head over to Rascal. His heart sank and his testicles rose when he saw blue and red lights alternating on the back of Rascals head. He probably would have seen them in the side view mirror, but it had been clipped off in a parallel parking debacle three days prior. With a chalky feeling sloshing in his stomach, Moon’s eyes flickered between the lights and Rascals face and squeezed out a sentence:
“What the hell are we gonna do?”
Rascal leaned forward and pulled something out from under the seat.
“Just don’t say a word, Moon.”
With that sentence, the cop flashed his high beams at the Caddy. Rascal calmly pulled the vehicle over and squeezed the steel hidden under his jacket, which was already sweaty. Moon became incredibly tense as the sirens neared, and held his breath. Two crimes in one night take an awful toll on one man. Without slowing down, the cherry top blared past and both men exhaled. Oddly enough, Rascal was the only one able to express the sentiment.
“Jesus…Jesus Christ.”

***

I apologize to no man...

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 08:05:35 GMT

...or woman, for that matter.

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 8 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

HA-Ha-ha-

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 21:10:06 GMT

Whats your Led Zeppelin Theme Song?

Mr. Heavyfoot

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 08:17:08 GMT

One of the most depressiong things ever: when young people get married.

Kudos to anyone who has premar.

On another note, I had a good time tonight. It's the last night before school begins again. Fuckin' way too soon if you ask me. What's that? You didn't ask me? That's okay...I won't forget to leave you out of my will, fucktart.

It looks like Gannon actually pencilled in ROCK for Tuesday. Excellent.

Love,
The River Tiber (the closest thing to my name I can think of. no, don't correct me.)

Just one of the things I love...

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 07:59:29 GMT

how Bailey stares at me at times like this... like, "what the hell is so important about that square that he's staring at?" If only he would ingest the information...

Psyched for 'Chains,

Timmy Tim Tim

Ever notice that when you capitalize the "i" in the word "ill" it looks like a roman numeral 3?

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 18:58:01 GMT

:: how nintendo are you? ::

Fortunately/unfortunately

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 18:30:43 GMT

You would think with my voice completely gone, that this medium would be a rant fest--a place to supplement the silence of my big food trap. Fortunately/unfortunately, the Sudafed-doused delirium and throwing-star-swallowing-like pain juat won't allow for opinions to exit the skull right now. Maybe it's another antibody function: to keep stupid idiotic thoughts from permeating the skull, to prevent further damage to the body by other people's fists.

Well, hi. Looks like the year is finally here when an era must come to an end.

Also, in case anyone got a call from me the other night out of nowhere, that's why I don't delete numbers from my phone. Unless of course, I lost it...which I definitely unfortunately did in one case. If you're reading this, I'm sorry, and Happy New Year. Bye!

P.S. - I needed a 1 P.M. wakeup so badly. In fact, maybe it was all I needed in the first place.

It's been squatting in my head for about three weeks now, and I can't get White Lexus by Mike Doughty out. The antibodies must be confusing it for a stupid thought.

C'est très bien, Tim!

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 02:45:53 GMT

I found a few good rants in Myspace that I wrote almost 2 years ago. TWO YEARS! 730 days! Actually 731 because 2004 was a leap year and it was before February! Anycrap, in lieu of writing something original, I thought I'd put them here in a last-ditch effort to gather everything before the move. 'Cause who knows what will become of my thoughts then...

Myspace: Friday January 30 2004

edgar allan snow

i went sledding tonight. it was fuckin awesome. it's the best snow for sledding. probably the second best snow time ever.

i'm trying to write more, i really am.

Myspace: Sunday February 01 2004

serf music

i am tired and hungry. and you know what? i'm going to do something about it. i don't know where or when, but i am confident that at one time there will be a non-hungry and tired me. i hate when it's busy at work because then i can't get out of work mode.

on top of that, the filter machine broke tonight so i was there for an extra hour. fuck me.

yes! i just saw the same commercial two times in a row for the first time since something like 1997. i thought they fixed problems like those. randomizer must be on the fritz. i love when people fuck up inn subtel wayes. ok, i have no idea how they do commercials. all i know is, when i see the same commercial twice it means A) someone fucked up or B) some company paid alot of money for a solid minute of advertising.

enough about nothing. off to the semiconscious.

Myspace: Monday February 09 2004

Miss Hathaway, can I get one of these electric whittlers for Uncle Jed?

I just had some delicious sherbet...a few hours ago. I'd have more, but there's none left. I have nothing important to say. Not by your human standards, anyway. I have to be going now. There's a space war and my awesome race of incredibles needs me to defeat the Zregnons. Tagalong if you wish.

-- Zontar the Munificent

Myspace: Saturday February 14 2004 (Valentine's Day!)

she slit my hugular vein and i couldnt resist...so we hugged.

i am so tired that nothin i say makes any sense. in fact that was the most coherent sentence ive produced in the past hour, two in a row including this one. retread the steps of the mighty and fallen, and you too will end up like them. fallen, but mighty. and you know that's not bad. where the bartenders had. served lucifer's stew. to the captain and crew. of the undersea hours club exploring the depths of the ocean in secret from the government of shangri-la. you are it. please understand this.

Myspace: Sunday February 15 2004

ants in the rants

you know what fucking just pissed me off? well first off, i hate it when people use their trashcans, chairs, second-born children, or what have you to save their parking space on the street when it snows. what makes it even worse and is a total abuse of a shitty system is that my neighbors are using the system right now. i saw two recycle cans blocking a parking spot near my house, and the only remnants of snow are a few icy bumps on front lawns of houses that are blocking the sun. that is atrocious, especially considering it is after 3 AM. if you are not home, then the space is up for grabs. i've parked on another street before. fuck this, im going to go destroy the cans. i'll be back.

that was awesome. the woman came out and yelled at me. how sad is it that she's ever vigilant when it comes to her parking lot, yet im sure her chimney is consuming enough oxygen for an infant to breathe for a week. fuck you, bitch. i hate people. in general, anyway.

Myspace: Thursday March 04 2004

P.S. I Love You by the Beatles always makes me feel weird. It's the first song they wrote ( i think ) and it's just so fucking good and creepy everytime i listen to it. i dont know why. it's like when you're watching a movie and you can pinpoint the EXACT moment the climax begins. this song is like that, frozen forever--or at least until the cd melts or there's a worldwide holocaust.

So, enough of that. Just another way of justifying my existance. I got an A in French, which is a four-credit course. Because numbers mean the world.

i'm looking for a family with a bearded, irascible dad with a heart of gold,...

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 22:28:05 GMT

Has anyone else noticed the End Times fast approaching? There's already a Babel-fest in the East, and Mother Nature has turned into a giant dominatrix complete with Hurricane-gloves, wind whip and earthquake boots. I'm not a rumor spreader by any means, but word on the street is she is in possession of the Bombos, Ether and Quake medallions*.

Ripoff, Inc.

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
I walked into the Buddha's secrets and saw the bodhi
it grew higher and wider than Northern California's children
The Misfit climbed to the top and shouted his lament
and all the mountains opened to suck in the sky
he shouted
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

and hourglass of blues is tilting to the side
so while you walk the line, keep your inches wide
and miximize your
intent...to...
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

I'll let you know when I graduate second grade, all you fathers

New Idea: WNA - Night in Shining Darkness
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

* Play about 68% of A Link to the Past

such a simpler time

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 19:07:51 GMT

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold
They're called the Ghostbusters and they're in control
Had 'em throwin' a party for a bunch of children
While all the while the slime was under the building
So they packed up their group, got a grip, came equipped
Grabbed they proton packs off their back and they split
Found about Vigo, the master of evil
Try to battle my boys? That's not legal

Doesn't it look like Bobby Brown just watched the movie on fastforward? He treated the song like I treat a paper. I skim a few pages and get the whole thing out of context. Just shows though, that you can still come out with a masterpiece that way.

In other news, only a few days of school left and I have a pretty intense exam schedule. Now I have to talk to Elaine and get off of work. Fuck, I really never wanted to mention that bitch in my journal. She's not worthy. Oh well, even the pauper gets his chance at fame. (laughs to self at obscure reference, realizes fate, studies, laughs again about lying about studying in the word before this clause).

P.S. - Oh yeah, and Elena, I have all the songs from both Ghostbusters now. Funsome.

please be pre-pubescent

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 14:22:55 GMT

Today is Von Bobby Osh day, or as I just came up with, the Minivan Trapps. This should be fun and filled with food...and fun.

P.S. ...and food.

TAYUAUNOTLuSPerSupsI3D

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 22:31:20 GMT

Hello, me! Here's another quasi-weekly update of Tim Daily! This week's entry: The Amazing (Yet Uncomfortable) and Unfathomable Neighborhood of the (Lucid) Slovenly Perpetual Supperers in 3-D

MP3s

First things first, I have this version of Robert Plant's Shine it All Around on my computer, and it ends with what I assume to be some French radio disc jockey. It's here that I notice that our DJ's are totally fuckin' American. At the end of said song--which I believe to have been brand new at the time of transference from radio to computer--in a perfectly respectable and informative voice is a Frenchman speaking quickly and sans emotion. When I think of American radio, on the other hand, I think of that cackling hippie like Pierre Robert(note the irony of his name) sawing open my cerebellum on a crisp autumn morning, when I want nothing more than to be lulled into a day of full consciousness with the gentle arms of music! I don't need the crazy-father-weilding-a-chainsaw-and-bursting-into-the-room-at-4-AM effect of an over-caffienated, burned out, middle aged "citizen"'s voice. But I digress. The point I'm trying to make is that the little snippets at the end of a sloppily-transferred MP3 can be quite satisfying. Like at the end of U2's Beautiful Day; on the radio or CD, fade out. On my mp3? Heavens no! I have some sort of weird split-second '80s synth drum burst followed by a fragment of a guitar note straight out of some lame Nickelodeon game show from 1990. At the end of an acoustic version of Toad the Wet Sprocket's Comedown is some woman who, if the band had one giant collective dick, would have licked her was to the chocolate center of it by the end of the song. She adds an extra 8 seconds to a great song and caps it off perfectly with a hilarious faux interest, like a quivering laser-sight is trained on her forehead. My point is, through all of this much too long section, is that I wouldn't change these songs for the world. The little mistakes and bloops are the digital equivalent of the aging Pink Floyd stoner's love affair with the way the laughter skips in the middle of Brain Damage on his original vinyl copy. I don't think I could deal with CD's anymore, unless I make them myself. What an age.

Pigeons

Today I noticed something; not unlike the moment a 55 year old mother walks in on her jobless overweight thirtysomething of a son masturbating to I Love Lucy and sees its time for change in not only his pathetic life, but her own as well.
I try to avoid the pigeons on my route, I really do. They walk in the street like yearlings around a cool stream (only without the grace), scavenging for food. I look at the concrete-colored eggs with legs and see their disgusting beetle-sheen of green, purple and blue--no longer borne of nature, but of their bathing in gasoline slicks. These fat, overfed "birds" keep their superfluous wings tucked at their sides and wobble like that last bowling pin in your possible 300 game that's on the line. I drive slowly and around them, not anymore worrying about killing them, but so that underdeveloped, coal-black beak doesn't puncture my tire. I can't help but look at these creatures too lazy to move out of the way of traffic for the sake of food and laziness and see America--nay, humanity. Look; I'm a big guy, but I'm no pigeon. When a car's coming, I move out of the way. Physically and metaphorically speaking. I see people walking around this city, and when the slightest thing disrupts that beeline to food, or the train, or the TV, they flap their little stubs and let the feather fly. The overfeddus glutonii species is too closely related to humans nowadays to not be the missing link. I don't want to be a pigeon.

Fences

Today I saw a pretty funny thing. There was this house on Megargee St. With a pretty high fence. Now, I'm not talking chain-link alone, but this thing was jet black, pointy and menacing. On the end closest to me was one of those oh so subtle "Littering Fine" signs placed there to scare people (and their dogs, I assume) from shitting on their lawn. Then, as my eyes scanned along the fence whilst I walked, I came to a cheery flag stuck in the barren mudslide of a front lawn. It said, in a plain and fancy script surrounded by floral pastel coloring, "WELCOME". If that's not confusing, I don't know what is.

The Headless Fan

Further down on my walk today, I saw a scarecrow in a chair wearing a white T-shirt with "EAGLES" painted on it in black ink. Good move, since I alone with the rest of degenerate society would probably have stolen any merchandise with any value on that thing. Anyway, the head was missing and the snapped off end of a broom stick was the only thing protruding from the shoulders. Fuckin hilarious.

Safety Word

There needs to be a word, sound, or visual that all creatures understand and interpret as "NO". This symbol would immediately strike fear in the groin of any creature (in the universe; if it was limited to just earth, then the aliens would have a pretty awesome weapon against us). This would solve a hell of alot of problems and be alot nicer than "anyone caught trespassing will be shot" or "fuck you homo, you don't get no Chee-tos." We could make a sticker with the symbol and put it on our properties, then have secret entrances so we can get in without seeing the symbol. I guess, of course, then you'd have people inventing contact lenses that could filter it out or something and these people would be invincible until a new thing was conceived. So, bad idea.

That's all I got in meself for now. Later, beautiful.

makes you think

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 21:58:16 GMT

PRISMATIC
AN EPIC TALE
continued

Johnny took a loaded pistol from the back left corner of the top dresser drawer and took out the cartridge. No bullets. Clenching the sock-warmed steel reminded him of dressing up as James Bond for Halloween in '90. What a different kind of assassin Bond would make in comparison to Holme! Johnny Holme, that is. With a deep exhale he sandwiched the pistol between his groin and belt, then pulled his I Can't Believe it's Not Human! Shirt over it. Another great show from his past.
*     *     *
    President Czarnowy held Jar-Din in his fatty-yet-muscular arms.
    "You know, your safety--and secrecy--is my one priority right now."
She kissed him gingerly on the cheek and clicked off the bedside radio, then rolled over to face the ceiling. She thought about the night before, about Ed, about the invasion, and about the piles of human brain surrounding their bed. She rolled over and grabbed one of the piles of grey matter. The President looked at her and smiled uneasily.
    "So much violence for no reason."
    Jar-Din, above the soft, squishy din, whispered softly:
    "Makes you think..."

    ...and greedily stuffed the slime into her mouth.

*     *     *

    The two sat in John's '03 Taurus, moving at a reasonably good clip. Brenda was excited to see this "surprise" Johnny was dragging her out beyond -- Wilmington?! -- for. The car ride was so aggressively quiet that once Brenda had the nerve to touch the radio ON/VOLUME button/knob, they were there. Where there was, exactly, is a matter for another--more punctual--update. 'Til then, cock grapplers!

hi there!

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 21:32:47 GMT

Here's another pretty good idea I stole from Elena. It would be alot easier if we were to just pick songs, but this makes it fun for the creator too. I tried to include enough to make them guessable. When you guess the song I'll underline it and put your name there so you can get your precious credit, tools.

1. "We skipped the life fandango"

2. "Riders on the storm...riders on the storm...into this house we're born, into this world we're thrown" *SOMEONE GOT THIS ONE WRONG! WORTH DOUBLE THE POINTS NOW!

3. "I just don't know what to do with myself..."

4. "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

5. "Well I took a little ride through the pouring rain to think about the casualties of your exchange"

6. "There is a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun" Lenny and Adrienne - The Animals

7. "I live cement, I hate this street; give dirt to me; i bite lament"

8. "Have you ever been close to tragedy or close to folks who have"

9. "I dedicate this record, The Carnival, to all you brothers takin' long trips down south--Virginia, Baltimore, all around the world and your girl gets this message that you ain't comin' back. She's sittin back in her room, the lights is off, she's cryin'. Then my voice comes in--POW--in the middle of the night and this is what I told her for you"

10. "I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis"

11. "I wrote my mother, I wrote my father, and now I'm writing you too."

12. "Don't, don't, don't let's start--this is the worst part"

13. "Called you so many times today and I guess it's all true what your girlfriends say" Lenny - The Police

14. "I've got to say there's somethin' on my mind 'bout the way you've been for a long long time" Lenny - Los Lonely Boys

15. "Oooooh yeah ah Ziggy played guitar jamming good with Weird and Gilly"

16. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar"

17. "Aruba Jamaica ooh I wanna take ya" Lenny - The Beach Boys

18. "If you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you would understand" Lenny - Tonic

19. "I was bruised and battered, I couldn't tell what I felt, I was unrecognizable to myself"

20. "Oh I come from a land, from a far away place where the caravan camels roam" Lenny - The Guy From the Beginning of Aladdin

take me break me make me fall

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 17:18:45 GMT

PRISMATIC - continued

THE FLASHFRONT

August 2, 2007

(awesome solo fades in)

"Ladies and gentlemen--gentleman. There comes a time in the course of human history when we must realize the options laid before us. There are aliens. In fact, some 30,000 of their vessels are entering our atmosphere as we speak. Whether or not their intent is to destroy the fabric of our existence is not yet known, for they have not established any sort of communication, nor made any attempt to do so. This in mind, we must not hesitate to protect what we can only assume is our way of life--life itself--which is in danger. Now we can stand here and wonder why they are doing this, or we can fuck 'em out of the sky! So, what do you say, troops!?"

Ed stood up and gave a long whistle as he looked around at the thousands of surviving women who had volunteered for the 14th--and final--division of the United States Combined Military Forces.

"Can I please go home now? I mean, I'm the only fucking guy here."

The Women, with their unwashed hair in knots and makeshift hybrid weaponry in their slender (chocolate) milky hands, looked at President Czarnowy like bitches being called to dinner. With a heavy sigh of one thousand bad days, the President flicked his hand outward to the women and stepped down from the podium. The 3,476 women then proceeded to beat Ed to death with utmost prejudice.

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 19:28:54 GMT

we summoned ghosts and built a treehouse somewhere in the ozarks
for a time we lived there
and thought of things to do with the spectres hovering
little steve breathed in the vapor and the screams began

there's a little dirge to bring the ghosts into the city
the minors and the 7ths make it anything but pretty
while the swirling harmonious harlots
pray for the city

and the open door plays

they ran from our ears to our fingers and along
the telephone wire to the banshees and the vampires
that's where we flew and tried to save the world
then when we were done we came home again

to the city of blood

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 20:42:35 GMT

What is your name: Tim
Birthday: March 25
Male or female: male
Astrological sign: aries
Nicknames: Time, Timo, any other vowel added to the end of my name will suffice. Except Tima. That sounds like a prehistoric warrior princess.
Height: 6'4"...in heels...
Hair color: same as eye color
Eye color: same as hair color
Where were you born: my mother's cervix
Where do you reside now: my mother's cerv--philadelphia
What's the deal with your userpic: I won it on eBay. It's a very rare picture of the Bumble in mating season
Other screen names you use online: sergeantlibido
What do your other screen names mean: uncle destrado was taken. ok, maybe not. i just love freud. i mean love freud.
Are there pictures of yourself on the internet: Try http://www.blackbrontosaurus.edu/hirsutegallery/timplaytime
Other places you hang out online: my basement, until they invent hypertravelnet
Pets: Bee-wee
Piercings: series of chains connecting all three nipples and right face
Tattoos: series of prisoners dancing in a line, ala the Grateful Dead Bears.
Righty or lefty: sinister
Wearing: fuzzy underwear
Hearing: Dar Williams - The Babysitter's Here (Lenny, listen to this song. I bet you cry.)
Feeling: I am not well
Eating/drinking: mucus

Guys/Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff
What's your current relationship situation: singlais
Are you happy with your current situation: yeah bitch, i bees so tiyud of all dees hos tryin' ta hook up my piece.
Have you ever been in love: i drove by Love's
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: not gayly, though i am a known forehead kisser when someone does good
What do you look for in a guy/girl: must love dogs
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: i'm the only one who finds myself funny
What type of guy/girl do you usually go for: i don't go for guy/girls. that's fucking twisted
Do you have a crush right now: i prefer Coca-Cola
Do you believe in love at first sight: I believe no one will ever portray a better blind man than Val Kilmer in At First Sight,...
Do you believe in fate: that would make things more interesting
Do you believe in soul mates: well if i believe in all that other fake stuff above i kind of have to now don't i?
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: I hope so

Family Stuff
How many siblings do you have: 1
What are your siblings names: Lenny
What are your parents names: T'n'A
How many siblings does your mother have: 6
How many siblings does your father have: 2
Where are your parents from: philly
Is your family close: too close for most circles of acceptance
Does your family get together for holidays: why, did they say something? you think they like me?
Do you have a drunk uncle: if most uncles are druncles, then what is a dryant?
Any medical problems run through your family: i think i have some sort of upper respiratory problem. seriously, guys. guys...?
Does someone in your family wear a toupee: god, i hope so.
Do you have any nieces or nephews: once when he was young i saw bailey humping his bed, but he dumped that bitch so i don't know.
Are your parents divorced: nein
Do you have step parents: you could eliminate this question by changing "are" to "were" in the above question
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: I used to have a brother...Horatio, I hope you're reading this, asshole.
Did some of your family come to America from another country: Mein olde relations are from Polska.

Music Stuff
What song do you swear was written about you or your life: The Shadows - Apache
What's the most embarrassing cd you own: i once owned CrazySexyCool
What's the best cd you own: it changes every month and i bleed a new one out
What cds did you listen to most in 2004: Unheard Of III
What's one cd you think is way overrated: the killers
What's one cd you think is way underrated: soul coughing - el oso
What's the most recent song you had stuck in your head: Hey Wait a Minute! Someone's In Here! Set to techno music.
What song do you absolutely hate: Write all the Nickelback songs on sheets of 1"x1" paper. Throw them in a blender (not on). Pick a song out. How did you know?! Now put it back in, and turn the blender on. Oops! Forgot to close the lid and your hand was still in? Oh, you!
Do you sing in the shower: i'm only human
Do you play an instrument: i'm only superhuman

Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs
U2: "Neon light, day glow eyes, city lit by fireflies. They're advertising in the skies"
Elliott Smith: "Everything reminds me of her"
Aerosmith: "I'm BAAAAACK. I'm back in the saddle again."
Madonna: "Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder..."
Cursive: who the fuck is that
Neutral Milk Hotel: oh, that's not an intentionally indie band name, not at all.
The Beatles: "The world is treatin' me bad, misery"
Sublime: "Annie's twelve years old and tomorrow she'll be a whore."
Pixies: "Is she weird? Is she white? Is she promise to the night?"
Postal Service: you've got to be fucking kidding me
Michael Jackson: "The way you make-a me feel...you really turn-a me on"
Weakerthans: "I masurbated her away, because I should be dead and my band has a horrible name"
Britney Spears: "It might seem like a crush but that doesn't mean that I'm serious"
Everclear: "You smart ass college fuck, act like you think you're tough."
Tilly and the Wall:
Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Cobain can you hear the Spears singin' songs off station to station?"
Shins: "Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth."
Nirvana: "Teenage angst has paid off well, now I'm bored and old."
Rilo Kiley: Isn't that the band with the guy from Boy Meets World? I'm sure he loves that his band is constantly referred to as such.
Decemberists:

Wednesday Never an August: "Our love is like my tattoo in the shower, faded and broken and gone is the flower."

Favorites
Color: orange
Food: Tim spaghetti: macaroni and cheese with ketchup and hot dogs.
Song: Right now, it's Fairport Convention - Matty Groves | ever, Collective Soul - Shine and Neil Young - Old Man
Show: simpsons, invasion, flyers, phillies, i've been known to enjoy almost anything. except mtv programs or reality
School subject: Anglais. Love irony like I do?
Band/singer/artist: Neil Young
Animal: i do like penguins
Outfit: anything thick and/or torn. something that reflects my psyche.
Radio station: when I have to listen to the radio, 88.5 WXPN, 93.3 WMMR, and 610 WIP
Movie: Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Pair of shoes: Nike whatever the hell knid of name they gave my shoes
Cartoon: Simpsons and anything by disney if that counts
Actor: Pierce Brosnan, Ron Livingston, Harrison Ford
Actress: Tuesday Weld, Gillian Anderson
Potato chip: Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream, KC Masterpiece
Alcoholic Drink: Miller Lite, i like most hard drinks
Soda: Coke, Dr. Pepper
Holiday: I'm a fan of Ordinary Time
Perfume/cologne: Preferred Stock
Pizza topping: sausage, pep
Jello flavor: purple
Lunch meat: turkey
Card Game: regular five card poker. when did the game get so fuckin complicated? spider solitaire rules, but i would never play it anywhere but on the computer.
Video game: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Website: Wikipedia
Book: I've read too many to have a definite favorite. Right now I'm reading the Illuminatus! Trilogy
Number: 3, 5
Cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Pebbles, Cap'n Crunch, Rice Krispie Treats. Anything that would piss off the dentist because I don't brush regularly either.
Comedian: David Cross, Sam Kinison
Dessert: strawberry ice cream, orange sherbet with chocolate syrup. where the hell is my magic shell? i like a good
Disney character: Goofy
Clothing store: I don't actively or sensibly shop
Past time: stickball
Teacher: Eric "The Gay" Keenaghan
Childhood toy: Legos
Carnival game/ride: throwing stuff games
Candy bar: butterfinger
Salad dressing: Creamy Caesar, Ranch
Thing to do on the weekend: hang out and/or go somewhere far. alcohol usually comes into play. drinking and driving fucking RULES! WE THE YOUTH ARE FUCKING INVINCIBLE!
Hot drink: tea
Season: winter
Sport to watch: baseball, hockey
Person to talk to online: you don't really talk to anyone online do you, silly survey?

Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits
What color are your sheets: white/stain'd
What color are your bedroom walls: blue/stain'd
Do you have posters on your wall: yes
If so of what: beatles, pj, radiohead, old pulp comics
Do you have a tv in your bedroom: yes
How many pillows are on your bed: 3
What do you normally sleep in: air
Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: nudity
What size bed do you have: twin
Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: no
Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: i have a cellphone, deuceface
Describe the last nightmare you had: my face came off
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: snuggle is still there
Any unusual sleeping positions: 69 with self
Do you have to share your bedroom with a roommate: snuggle
Do you snore: i breathe heavily
How about drool: i dont know im not conscious, cock
Do you have an alarm clock in your room: one
What color is the carpet in your room: stain'd
What's under your bed: my box spring touches the floor directly

What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
Reality TV: once in a while there's a quick addictive one, but i'd rather they disappear completely
Religion: Emo
The term "Emo": fuckin' best music ever
Valentine's Day: another fucking holiday turn'd to spoil consumers and life in general
Online relationships: ::types feverishly with round, supple fingers::
Homosexuals: all of the gay people i know aren't really gay, but i don't have a problem with it
Abortion: when necessary
Murder: when necessary
Death: eventually necessary
Obesity: come on it, the retained water's fine
Terrorism: when necessary
Fortune Tellers: yes
Prostitution: again, when necessary
Politics: apathy
Country music: post-1992 -- cesspool
George W. Bush: when necessary
Gas prices in America: we're so fucked

Have You Ever....
Mooned anyone: intentionally AND unintentionally
Been on a diet: a steady diet of yummy...
Been to a foreign country: only canada
Broken a bone: possibly
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: not one of my own
Sworn at a teacher: not to their face
Got in a fight: yes
Dated a teacher: not to their face
Laughed so hard you peed your pants: i once peed so hard i laughed my pants
Thought about killing your enemy: yes, before doing it
Gone skinny dipping: in the bathtub alone
Told a little white lie: i usually tell big burly black lies...right, Rondell? (wink)
Told a secret you swore not to tell: only when it's funny and the consequences won't really affect me
Stolen anything: yes
Been on TV: yes
Been on the radio: yes
Been in a mosh pit: yes
Dated one of your best friends: not to their face
Deceived somebody close to you: all the time
Broken the law: I was in the southampton paper for several crimes i've committed up there
Been to a rodeo: I actually went in
Been on a talk show: no
Been on a game show: in the crown of millionaire at disney...so no
Been on an airplane: the Jefferson Airplane
Been on a train: The Grand Funk Railroad
Got to ride on a firetruck: no
Came close to dying: i once thought of having red hair, but...oh...i see...
Cheated on a bf/gf: only in the shower, so it doesnt count
Gave someone a piggy back ride: ;-)
Terrorized a babysitter: I lied and got Malu to read me two books.
Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff: yeah
Snuck out of the house at night: heavens yes
Been so drunk you don't remember your name: there must be something im doing wrong because thats impossible
Had an eating disorder: fuck yes
Smoked: a few times
Done drugs: yes
Been arrested: no
Had your tonsils removed: no
Gone to camp: no
Won a bet: no one i bet with ever comes through
Written a poem: yes
Kissed in the rain: in the purple rain
Asked a friend for relationship advice: yeah
Had a friend steal your bf/gf: nope
Done jail time: no
Had to wear a uniform to work: any time i have a dress code it slowly becomes my regular dress as time goes on...and no one cares...
Won a trophy: i need to win a bowling trophy to be awesome
Thrown up in public: not by accident
Bowled a perfect game: i never will
Failed/got held back: does college count?
Gotten perfect attendance in school: never
Gotten horribly depressed: only on mondays...and every other day...
Roasted pumpkin seeds: no
Played an organized sport: baseball, hockey, basketball
Taken ballet/karate lessons: i saw one once

Childhood Stuff
Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes: yes
Did you own Legos: does God cry when he thinks of me?
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210: in the latter years
Did you play Simon Says: yes
Did you watch Fraggle Rock: in the former years
Did you wet the bed: ask elena
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: not so much monsters as aliens or ghosts
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: yeah, they're written in shit
Were you shy: hush hush eye to eye
Were you spoiled: no
Were you abused: no
Did you go to the circus: a few times
Did you go to the zoo: i still have my zoo key
Were you in a car accident: some pretty hideous ones
Did you build snowmen: some pretty hideous ones
Did you cry when you scraped your knee: no
Were your older cousins mean to you: what older cousins? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Did you think slinkies were cool: it always stops at the last step
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: for a time
Were you afraid of the dark: best one ever - the glasses that looked into another dimension and there were these people in black unitards. fuckin surreal
Did you have slumber parties: still do
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag? no
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: still do
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy: i ruined it for elena...well, mom ruined it for elena by punishing me

Randomness
Do you believe in aliens: i don't just believe in them, i know in them. Mac, flkjwo9,.
Name three things that are next to your computer: B, E & T
Do you have any hidden talents: i can do the chewbacca noise
Do you wish MTV would play music videos: yes, channel 139 & 143
Do you play any sports: yeah right
What's the scariest movie you've ever seen: halloween is pretty frightening
What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently: Waiting
What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen: The Last Home Run
Do you think your good looking: ask the jealous mirror
Do others think you are good looking: ask the jealous world
Would you ever sky dive: yes
Do you believe in Bigfoot: yes
How many rooms do you have in your house: 10
Are you afraid of roller coasters: never
Do you own a pooltable: no
Do you have a pool: no
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: yes
Do you like chocolate: it's good
Do you like rap music: maybe .0000023% of it
Who/what is on your 2005 calendar: Shakespearean insults
How many U.S. states have you been to: 15 or so
Ever wished on a shooting star: yes
Best Halloween costume you ever wore: Monopoly Guy - Mr. Moneybags
If you could book Conan O'Brien's show one night, who would you have on: Andy Richter, Nostradamus, Sam Kinison, Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Do you carry any weapons on you: only the left and right
What is your weakness: A damn fine dinner
Name something you can't get enough of: air
How many kids do you want to have: 5
Future daughters names: Stupid and Constance
Future sons names: Brutus, Bluto, Blutus, Pluto and William of Westover
What is your ideal way to die: some funny way
What's the ringtone on your cell phone: whatever the original one way because im not gonna bother anymore
How do you release stress: TV, guitar
Do you consider yourself a trendy person: no
Are you an artisitic person: yes
Are you a realistic person: no
Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off: i never do unless they come undone
Are you a strong person: no
Are you a strong willed person: yes
Who is the last person to e-mail you: no
Who is the last person to IM/PM you: sometimes
Do you hate chain e-mails: yes
Are you a deep sleeper: forever
Are you a good story teller: forever
What do you believe is your best quality: i'm good with surveys
What is your greatest accomplishment: Band Fest, Phi Stock
Do you like to burn candles or incense: too much
Do you have your own credit card: too many
Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money?: buy a castle
Do you have a check book: yes
Do you tan easily: no
What color is your hair naturally: tim
How many fillings do you have: 75
How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit: 0
Worst feeling in the world? Uncertainty
Best feeling in the world: Fun
Is the glass half empty or half full: Depends on what's in it
Last thing you downloaded: Richard Simmons on Whose Line is it Anyway?
Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? Only to be intentionally lame
What do you think people think of you: "Wow that guy's...there is no word in the world capable of--" (achieves enlightenment)
Are you a likeable person: I am fun when I'm not crippled by depression
Do you need therapy: Heavens no!

My Creed

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:14:11 GMT

I believe that philosophy cannot be learned in 4 years of huge classes, but in five minutes alone. I believe in the inevitability that once you start you will no doubt have to stop. I believe that I forgot what I was just about to say. I believe that jazz, good jazz, is actually pretty cool. I believe that alcohol is the solution to a few problems, just none that I will ever encounter. I believe that lies are not sins. I believe that I am frustrated at the thought of forgetting that one from earlier. I believe that people are justified in doing whatever they want--until it pisses someone else off. The end.

Love, Tim

songs i'm obsessed with now

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:29:50 GMT

Billy Bragg and Wilco - Airline to Heaven
George Harrison - I've Got My Mind Set on You
Magnetic Fields - You and Me and the Moon
Bruce Springsteen - Streets of Philadelphia
Bill Withers - Lovely Day
Sugar - Hoover Dam
Van Morrison - Domino
Fats Domino - Blueberry Hill
Foo Fighters - Generator, Best of You
Soul Hooligan - Algebra
Four Seasons - Goodbye Baby
Was (Not Was) - Spy in the House of Love
Alan Parsons Project - Don't Answer Me
Burden Brothers - Beautiful Night
Soul Coughing - Bus to Beelzebub

Yes. Yes, I am.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 15:34:46 GMT

You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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